Milk was a staple for me growing up. Everyday after school I had a tall glass of cold, whole milk and loved every single gulp. I love chocolate milk, I love to dip cookies in it, make milk shakes, milk baths (well I've never had one, but I think that I would like it), and milk in my coffee. However, what I do not appreciate is everyone who is running around and making me weird and grossed out by milk. You ruining it for me! "Who are these people?" you may ask. PETA for one. Yes, the animal rights group. They recently put out a formal request to Ben and Jerry's asking if they would please stop using cow's milk (to "give the cow a break"), and start using human breast milk.
I really, really wish that I was kidding. In the report, which you can read here, they are quoted saying that "breast is best" and thus, I should really be consuming breast milk mixed with caramel and peanut butter, all frozen to perfection while I'm sitting on my couch watching the rain or getting over a bad day. Please can I do that? I literally am almost throwing up in my mouth. Is anyone else totally grossed out by this? And what does "breast is best" even mean? According to who? I guess this brings me to another misunderstanding I have about life. What is the big deal about boobs?! They are fat that just sits there, and frankly, people act appalled by it anywhere else on the body, so how come two random spots on the middle of someone's chest are so appealing? And, your mom, grandma, and every other girl that you have ever known has them. So, please please tell me what the big deal is. Furthermore, I am pretty sure, that people (majority men) who are going around saying "breast is best", are not thinking that they are consuming it's natural fluids in ice cream. If they even remembered that milk comes out of those, I think they would loose some of the appeal. So PETA maybe this is actually a hidden way to stop people from looking at so much porn, or grabbing people's boobs on the streets. If so, then I understand your true intentions. But, I have see you in action, and the way you yelled at me with signs that had puppies on them in Times Sqaure, makes me worried that you are serious about this statement. I am really hoping that pictures of boobs and cows and any combination of the two do not show up at your next picket line.
The second person who is really destroying my love for milk, is this guy. He insists that soy milk will make a child gay. I can not even begin to comment on this. He says that giving a kid soy milk is the equivalent to taking two birth control pills. I would like to personally thank him for this information. Because now that I know, I will stop taking my birth control pills and I will drink a half cup of soy every morning. But, Sir? Will you foot the bill for the diapers, clothes, food and college of the baby that will be born out of your soy milk birth control method? Just let me know where to send the invoice.
I just turned 25 and I live in Orange County, California with my husband. We love God, love life, and love trying new adventures together. In June I will have completed my Masters in Theology at Fuller Theological Seminary. I hope to some day teach like my parents, and write a book about how all of this somehow relates together. It always does.