When It's Ruined

I consider myself to have child-like qualities. I love print socks, capri suns, the Little Mermaid, and I still think that stuffed animals are real. You don't? Just read Corduroy and you will be convinced too.

But, I have to get something off my chest that I am sad about. There are people who have ruined cartoon characters for me. I can't stand it. I do not want to know about any lame producer that thought it would be funny to write nasty words in the middle of Disney movies nor do I want to know what the people who do the voices do in real life. It ruins it!!! And frankly, I feel like I have been traumatized to some degree.

When I was really little, my sister once told me that Goofy was a drunk driver.

First of all, what does that even mean? Goofy is an actual person who drinks alcohol on a regular basis? That if I were a police man in the state of California or Florida I may run into Goofy during a night shift at the local bar?

Or does this mean that the person who is playing Goofy, all dressed up is drunk? Is that why he laughs like such a fool and sort of walks all slumped over? Perhaps it's not that he is so tall and has to lean over to talk with his other friends who are so short, but in fact he is stumbling home from the bar.

I mean this is what goes through my head now when I see that long-eared (what is he, a dog!?!), bucked toothed, overall wearing animal at Disneyland. I am disgusted with his choices. Come on, Goofy, you are supposed to be some sort of role model.

Now we know why they are not serving Margaritas or Cosmopolitans at the Happiest Place on Earth. Someone would be caught drooling for reasons that Walt would not like to admit.